Dan E’s 12 Golden Dating Tips

Ok Seeing as tho I’m in the mood for this Shit

I’ma Drop Some Knowledge For The Singles Out There

Seeing as tho I’m Single and Getting Some and going on a Dating in the Dark audition and potentially donating sperm to the BBC I’m in a Great position to tell you Lazy Underachievers on what to do!!!

Tip Number 1: Get Your Shit Together! Get nice clothes!!! Clothes make the person! Also Smell nice but be unique!!! If a bag of people are wearing 1 Million/Hugo Red your gonna smell normal, Normal Does Not Get Any!!!!

Tip Number 2: Speak The Fuck Up! If No One Can Hear you ,Your in a Fucked Up place!!! Be Loud!!!!

Tip Number 3: Get friends from the opposite sex that you have no intention of fucking!!! Reason being as it happens they happen to be the opposite sex and could help with hook ups and fuck ups! External development is key!! also works for gay people!!! become a social creature!!

Tip Number 4: Be Comfortable with who you are!!!! Nobody really wants to help you with your problems and fuck you! well not straight away! In Time Insecurities will be addressed so untill then stop being such a pussy!!!!

Tip Number 5: Figure Out What Your Good At and expand on it!!!! Meaning learn how to fuck and kiss in many different ways but save something for your wedding night/steady Spouse.

Tip Number 6: Essential information like their name must be remembered!!! get a facebook or phone number!!!! If you don’t ask or give,  you will not get anything!!!!

Tip Number 7: Make Eye Contact!!! In intervals and at a glance…. if you keep staring you look psycho!!

Tip Number 8: Get involved! If Your Out Have a good time! thats what your there to do. think of it as a bonus if you meet someone you like and approach them.

Tip number 9: Be fearless but Don’t be stupid!! if they have someone they have someone don’t be pushy!!!  Approach more than one person then weigh up  your options be smart not a rassclart.

Tip number 10: Get a wing!!!! go out with someone you have a good time with and have a good time……simple yet effective.

Tip Number 11: Express yourself! after all you want them to like you…

Tip Number 12: Lastly Relax….let it happen as its happening. don’t go in with an expectation as it’ll surely Manifest it self and fuck you up!

With these rules you will get the person you want easily!!!

However maintenance is on you!!

I’m just giving you the push you need In the right direction!


On That Note

Enjoy yourself Mutherfuckers!!

  1 comment for “Dan E’s 12 Golden Dating Tips

  1. avg
    October 15, 2010 at 7:03 pm

    we gon’ party tonight

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