Ok this sounds like the usual controversial beef but here some advice for both the man dem and gyal dem under the form of relationships……
I will do this with illustrations and highly obvious headlines for the benefit of audience.
I Once Heard That its not cheating until you get caught/confess. Which is a fair point, if you could get away with it you’d be having your cake and eating it too.
However this also means you’ll have two or more people on your case wanting your time and such which at the start inflates your ego dramatically but quickly gets irritating.
(only to say music really its really hard to get a job in that industry and you should play me a track sometime despite me directing them to my myspace beforehand…fuck all that)
Two of which are the dumbest questions a girl can ask
Your Best Friend
That chick over there
Some Random Buff Female celebrity
followed by “i would bend her up and fling her like a gymast around my pummle horse”
Which usually gets the desired shocked effect
Second question what are my plans
I usually respond i’m ….
..going to leave you
..not telling you just incase it doesn’t work out
….top secret.. if i told you they’ll get you
…really bored wanna make out
…going to have to ask yours first (then write everything down and suddenly run off)
morale of the story is this the truth hurts and don’t ask a question you don’t want answered
Things not to say
Hey Babes…its not what it looks like
Hey Babes…5 more minutes
Hey Babes..I love you so much!!
…it was a mistake
Did you get the shopping?
…funny story i was tired and said i wanted to go to bed and they were tired also and didn’t want to be alone downstairs so i said ok but i have only one bed. so we shared the bed but it was really warm cos there was two of us so we stripped off our remaining clothes as for me being on top of them i heard the door open downstairs so i want to make sure they were awake hence the shouting noise and the jumping on the bed…..
…see what happens when your not here to protect me! this person jumped through the window when i was naked and masturbating! this looks so bad! they insisted on cleaning me up too, i mean i can do that myself…..then they started to say its good for the skin one thing lead to another..
Things to say or do for revenge
…leave without saying nothing
if your a girl (fart) if your a guy (piss or buss a nut on the door handle)
fuck someone else and dash the jimmy hat at their window/car/parent/dump in fish bowl a la kidulthood
Not get the shopping