This Club is Lame…..Raving from a First Person Perspective

Ok the Last time I stepped into a place like this

I Dan E Mented was A smoking drinking dancing machine focused on getting some action

I have since given up smoking, and have vowed to stop drinking as much so i can blog, live and spend more on stuff i need like food, clothing and impending rent to my current landlord (Mum)

I tell you what it bloody sucks when you wake up and realise You’ve just been getting by all this time and have actually gone nowhere financially .

I mean sure I’m not grands and grands in debt pretending to be some kind of big shot, driving a car  or living in a house I can not afford or even taken in by this entire ghetto celebrity culture of being known on endz for an illegal activity…….well at least not anymore. I mean shit i’m grown now and all I have is an abundance of tut i don’t really need and all my ex’s won’t speak to me ever again (I Only Count Relationships as Ex’s so its about 3) As i’ve learned how to lose women that love me effectively from a young age……

The first time I Was Young and way too Trusting (Cheated On Me)

The Second Time I Pushed Her Away (I Cheated On Her apparently)

The 3rd Time Was a Mismatch (She Was Indecisive On What She Wanted and to be honest I could not Be asked To Man Up for Her Benefit #ShesNotTheOneIWannaStayWithForever)

Since Then I got My Gameplan Handled and I know exactly how to position myself as a potential boyfriend/night stand/fuck buddy as well as how to unposition myself

So rather than the whole “making her like me angle” which is the Hollywood equivalent pummelling her with gifts, Compliments and Doing Sweet Things until she submits Method.

I can Do a simple thing of going up to a girl/lady/woman and get the desired effect, it not that i’m cheap i just like to know she likes me on the basis of me being me rather than what i can offer her……which is a lot but i want to see what she can offer me. After all its meant to be a two way thing……Right?

Anyway on to the actual story

Like most Bachelors my age (late 20) my circle of friends has seperated into several groups over the Years. However the groups featured in this story Are The Lockdown Crew, Shattered pieces Crew and Single Days Crew.

Single Days Crew

Is More of an Undertone Crew Which Basically represents Both the lockdown and Shattered pieces connection which was mainly the ones they used to go out raving with Back In Their Hey Day.

Shattered Pieces Crew

Were part of the lockdown Crew however a change in circumstances such as a Break Up/Divorce There out by themselves with the lockdown crew and usually have one friend From Lockdown Crew that they Knew from the Single Days Crew

Lockdown Crew

These are basically the ones I grew up with over the years and have Stayed in with their Partners, Built Nests and have the Odd Night Out.

NOW The Actual Story

Not to be a tattle telling bitch but the Lockdown Crew are the ones that want to vicariously live through me on said nights as they pass down their alleged Knowledge by goading me to approach as many ………ahem ‘Gyal’ As possible within the confines of  3 hours to which I have no desire to do……..after all I’m not their trained Monkey and this ain’t 24

As I believe from when I have the ability I therefore have the choice……

The choice not to just settle with some stragglers in a club that plays shit music…….

From which I would have to return to eventually as it would hold some social symbolism within the confines of my potential  future relationship……so definately not the one….

The DJ @ Said Venue can #FuckOffAndWatchCorrie couldn’t mix for shit, There Was no Bass and I paid £10 pounds of my money (Which Was Borrowed from the Bank of Mum) to be tortured by his 4 month old collection of cycled repeats in a sober state. So as you can Imagine I was fairly Upset

Now being in a club this close to 30 wasn’t that bad last year so it begs the question was it my peers or the club or the fact that i’m getting too old for this shit…..Unfortunately it was My peers……

I had no Wingman or Party Correspondent to bounce off as it harder to Get a ladies attention when your mate stumbles around like a disabled back up caporiea dancer Shouting like he’s in the middle of doing a Hakka.

With introductions verging on both pointing as he “runs”  Towards Me, Spilling his Drink On Bystanders Shouting “Hows Comes you ain’t Seen anything here yet fam?” to which I reply “by the way this is my mate”

To Smiling and nodding during a flirtatious conversation with a desired female as My compadre slurs annoyingly through his point of view when injected into said conversation.

In addition to this everyone that didn’t smoke were smoking?!?! The role reversal was rather bizarre after all when I was doing it….

It was like you shouldn’t do that it’s bad for you. Which it is….

Your Lip swell up Cos of the Cigarette. which it wasn’t due to….

Don’t Give Him One He’ll be Back on it.  Despite nicotine being addictive I have quit, I didn’t ask for One I’m Merely Out getting some air and talking to you ….. YOU MUG

As the Night Went On I Found Myself Becoming more of a wall flower merely out of frustration. The Music was Shit, Lockdown’s were pissing me off, and all around me Outside Couples were arguing Shattered pieces Crew were doing their party tricks and amongst this i’m supposed to find a potential wifey/ting…… sober……

Circumstantial Bullshit is the worst kind of bullshit, as It is possible to rise up above it with great amounts of effort and this case was very special.

I saw Nothing I felt was worthy of an approach, unlike some I have a high level of quality control, and plenty of choices.  There has to be an essence of mystery to the lady, Riddm to her Bounce, Swagger in her step, elegance, class and good smell which to be honest in a club depreciates over the first 10 mins of ladies getting to a club…..

So I approached the Bar with a remorseful limp and the bartender asks with a glint in his eye…..what am i having to drink?

I look down as to gather the answer from my wallet….

to which i reply how much for a JD and Coke?…

to cut a long story short i ended up drunk and grinding on a beast of a woman

the morale of the story?

some people are better than others at being good

the rest of us just try not to fuck up as much as we are used to….. in hopes one day we’ll get it right some way, some how…..

Fuck it…..



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